Actual Journal Entry
Jacksontown, New Brunswick
I now commence my second journal after such a long silence. To account for my silence is a long story. In the first place Harry got hold of my journal and read it pretty near though while I was at school. I was awful cross when I found it out. I had left it carelessly in my trunk instead of putting it in my place, which I have, a purpose for it. In the second place, I had to stop home from school. Oh dear, I do want to go to school so badly. The reason I have to stay home is just this: Mother and Flora put their heads together and made up a plan for Flora to go up to Aunt Rebecca’s and learn pottery painting and Kensionton and then go down to Grandmanan with Mary and teach it. When coming to Blissville on her way back and to St. John where mother has relations to teach it also. The plan has been steadily carried out. Flora and Mary are in Grandmanan now. We have had two or three letters stating that she has poor success as yet but thinking there is fair chance for having better through a person by name Miss Deacon has got a head of her and has given lessons different parts of the Island.
I sent my socks with her consisting of four pairs to sell and she was to send money back in a registered letter but I have seen nothing of the money yet. I intended to get something that would lock up so I could put my journal in it to keep it away from Harry and that is the reason why I did not write before. But I could wait no longer. I think I have written enough for the present so I will stop.
It seems impossible for me to get a chance to write at all. We got a
letter from Flora stating that Mary was much worse. I hope she will get
better but mother and papa says there is a little chance. Harly Burple
died and was buried yesterday. He is Judson Burple’s boy. He was only 7
yrs old. Styles came around and tried to get up a singing school. I went
up to Advent meetinghouse with Harry but Styles never came and there was a
large crowd there. They think Syles got on a drunk. I will have to stop
Nov 18, 1888
I was to Sunday school and meeting today. Archibald preached. I
have got behind in learning texts but hope to catch up soon. I've got a
letter from Flora yesterday stating that Mary and her mother had gone to
Eastport to see if the doctor could do anything for her. Poor Mary, oh I
hope that Mary is not going to die now. But there is great danger. Mother
spins while I do the work. Oh how I long to go to school again.
I am now up in this lone chamber to get rid of the children. But it
is horrid cold I am pretty sure my nose is blue as I am a bluenose.
Aunt Clara is going away next Monday she gave Harry a present of a
lovely pen knife. Papa is over to Summervale. By the way a new
Denomination is started called the Reformed Baptist. They profess to be
from all sin. Papa's brother Aaron is the leader. Papa is against it.
I will close hoping to have to write again soon.
I was down here to meeting this morning. Heard Archibald as usual.
We have Sunday school in the morning before meeting. I had to play on the
organ as all the players were late. I did not like it much. Papa is gone
away to Grandmanan to sell butter, cheese, horses, wagon, sleigh and pork.
I expect Flora will be very glad to see him. Harry is sick and I have to
do a good deal of the barn work. Have thirty heads to care of and it is no
I am knitting a pair over socks for a birthday present for Phebe
and she thinks that they are mine. Her birthday comes the 20th of this
month. I knit Harry a present of a pair of mittens for his birthday and
put them on the table by his plate. He pretty near threw them in the wash
dish and hardly looked at them. I brought him to his senses after awhile.
I am going to knit a present of a pair of drawers for papa.
got a letter from Flora yesterday, she said that she would be home in two
weeks. She has not made much out of her fancy work she is going to make a
visit on her way back at Blissville. She is having a lovely time. She sent
me $ for my socks and papa took it for money to go to Grandmanan with.
Mary is better but the doctor would not tell her one thing about her
We have a new clock in the church. The meetinghouse is
the prettiest I ever saw.
I guess mamma is afraid I will turn a Baptist but the Third Teir
meeting is gone down. Third Teir is a free Baptist Denomination. It was
started by Grandpa.
is getting cold I will have to stop.
It has been along time since I wrote last and many things have gone
by that I cannot put here now. Papa went to Grandmanna again yesterday
perhaps he will not be back till spring.
I was interrupted this morning so I will commence again. The
pressers were here and just gone away a little while ago. I am giving
music lessons to Lena Birt . Syles came around again and gave music to
Harry and I but has gone away and Lena Birt also was coming to finish the
quarter. When I get my money for it, I will have a pair of skates, if
it warrants a law suit. I paided $100 of my sock money for the music lessons.
it warrants a law suit. I paided $100 of my sock money for the music lessons.
Flora is down visiting mamma's folks ( Smiths) down river and are
not got home yet. I will make more money with Lena's lessons than Flora
did with her fancy work. It is getting dark. I will have to close.
I am having a terrible time reading the pages because of the blurry
ink – cjd)
guess this is a monthly journal for I do not get more time than once a
month to write in it. Lena does not take music lessons till she get a
organ. Mother and Harry and Phoebe went down here to meeting as today was
Sunday. So I thought it a good chance to write in my journal and I hardly
got seated before back they came. I tell you what...I put my journal up
quick. There were so late they would not go in. I am going to write now
inspite of any body even if they do see me that will not get my journal to
read it. They are now out in the kitchen eating dinner. I wish this ink
would dry quicker. I could cover it up with paper I have got on purpose. I
do not know what to think of Syles, he gave me such a name about being a
bad player on the organ. And after I took music lessons he told Berts that
I could beat Laura Watson and Dora Comroly. So Lena is going to take
lessons as soon as she gets an organ. Laura Watson is very loud player but
Syles says she plays too fast. I give up learning texts, I am awful sorry,
but I could not do it.
I will still try to learn verses every Sunday. I am behind and seems as if
I can't learn. I was up to Georgie Watson's last week and he was telling
how he studied. He said he always took a candle and went to bed early and
early in the morning he studied and could study a good deal better. I use
to do it last summer but the day light woke me up and I am determined to
study mornings and then I hope I will know my verses better after this.
is down river yet. I don't suppose she will ever get home. Mary is better
according to the best account. Papa is down to Granmanan yet. We get two
letters from him. Today is foggy and wet. I had to stay home week before
last on account of having such a cold. I guess I will
Sunday, Feb. 24, 1889
Sunday is again come. It seems that days get awful short when I go to school. I was to a party up to Aunt Rebeca’s last night and got home just five minutes past twelve. Mother was with us. It was an old folks party. Helen and I had to tea and wash dishes and so on. You can hardly see my writing as it blotted so on account of molasses in the ink.
Last week, I woke up early morning and studied my psalms and got up except I will do verses next week. The way I woke up was I set the alarm in the clock. Last week one day, I at recess overheard a conversation between teacher and some of the girls. It was something about a man teaching French out in Woodstock. I went up and inquired all I could about him. Then I made up my mind that I would like to take awful well so I came home and went to mother about it. She asked Harry if he thought I was crazy so I sat up stairs and wrote to papa. I haven’t got any letter from him yet. Oh I do hope he will let me and give me the money. Mothers says that if papa gives his consent to take French lessons that she will consent for me to take music lessons from Alfred Letts, a very renown teacher. I would have half quarter both in French and music as I could only go once a week on account of going to school. Oh It would be just lovely if papa will only consent. I am in such a way for spring to come that I do not know what to do. I will close having no more to write. Carrie Hartt.
In my last I wished that spring was here. I have my wish for it is
certainly here. It is so nice and warm and pleasant, I feel like going out
and staying. Mr. & Mrs. Whilys were here yesterday. (The mother and
father of Mina Whily, the one who Flora wished to board with at the
Academy last fall) Aunt Rebeca came down in the afternoon and they asked
me to play on the organ for them and I kind of refused and then I got a
bawling out. Mr. Whily said that he did not think I was much like Flora. I
was so hard to get acquainted with. Auntie said I was awful shy. Mother
said, why yes, for instance when the pressers were here there were two
young men and first Carrie would go in the kitchen and then in the sitting
room and they would follow her to get acquainted. But of course, Carrie
never let on but I seen through it. But mother knew very well that was not
the reason. I wanted to be quiet where I could study my lessons and beside
that Harry Smith had no manners. He would get somewhere and eye and eye me
almost out of countenance. I was not use to it and did not know how to act.
That is the way he-------? Harry Hartt, Phebe and Lena Birt I had to play
for the Whily’s and then sing.
Yesterday, mother wrote for Flora to come home next Thursday. But before Harry could get to the office he lost the letter and therefore Flora will not be home till next Saturday. I will go into a fit if she does not get home soon.
I have not got a letter from papa yet and do not believe he will ever write. I almost out of my head to take French lessons. I am the dullest person in school for Maud Kitchen can learn arithmetic so much faster than I can and she is younger then I am to boot. Oh dear, I want to learn so badly and yet seemingly I can make no progress.
I want to be a schoolteacher. I would like to teach a term and then go to school a term. I am reading the student manual through and it is a lovely book. It knows so much. The inspector was to our school Friday, he got up our class on the floor in Fifth reader and after reading he began to give out spelling. I missed paralleled only Nilah Kitchen could spell it. I think I have written quiet enough so I will stop.
Tuesday, March 5, 1889
I now begin to just because my nature is so restless that I cannot sit still or keep my mind on anything. I am such a funny girl. Sometimes I will be so doleful other times I will wander around searching for fun.
Papa wrote but did not say one word about French lessons. I suppose he has not got my letter but I think he better get it pretty quick. Mother and Harry are to Woodstock. If mother forgets to get some ink, I shall die with sadness. I am beginning to think my journal is a living girl like myself. I wish it was.
Tuesday, March 12, 1889
Well mother got home from Woodstock but did not get the ink so I died of sadness. But died of gladness soon for Thursday, I was frying pancakes when Pearl and Bedford came rushing in from the sitting room crying. "Oh Flora is here, Flora is here” and almost the same minute Flora stepped in the doorway. Mother kissed with all her might while I left my pancakes to burn trying to drag her on the scales to see how much she weighed. I thought sure she weighed 200 but made a mistake for it was only 150. Bedford ran up to the barn to tell Harry and he left the cows he was milking and came running down spilling most of the milk on the way.
Flora is now up to Mrs. Watson. There is a prize offered in the Northern Messenger to anyone going to school that writes the best composition on the early stage of America. The Dominion prize is a printing press. Provincial prize- Maleuly’s History in five volumes, County prize a large book of some king, school prize the Northern Messenger one year for nothing. Everyone will get a card. Our school is going to write but I do not expect anything more than a card. Perhaps I will favor my journal with it
Papa has not written consenting those French lessons yet. I really think it pretty near time. Mother has gone to bed and it is getting late. By the way, Blanche and I last year decided that on the 7th of March we would note the changes in school. 7th of March we was to speak about it but forgot all about it so we spoke of it today and all the changes were that Harley Burpy is dead. We are to note it next year from a year today 12 of March 1890. Such writing, I am sure there is no name for it but I am growing careless but my brain is bewildered to night. This is enough now.
March 13, Wednesday, 1889
I have been to school today as usual. And when going this morning, I concluded I would have a slide. So I took the sled and started down Cock Estey’s hill, which is very steep. The sled and I started together but the ground was rather bare and shook me up. I tried to think it nice although the wind and snow was coming in my face, when all at once off I went. The sled sailed onward and I rolled in the drift. I got up all over snow and I concluded there was not so much fun after all. Well I do not know what to think of myself, I write such childish things as I am a women, but I declare I do not want to be whatever comes in my head down it goes.
Flora is to Woodstock with Aunt Rebeca. I hope I will make something out of my turkeys this year, but I have a head to make anything. I wonder what I will think of this journal in after years. I wonder where I will be and how I will feel when I read this. I am determined to make something of myself, if I die by it. I am going to be a schoolteacher if I am not hindered in some way or shape. I wonder if anyone will ever read this but myself. I am going to save it and show it to Harry and Flora’s great grandchildren.
Harry died when he was 23
years old. Flora had no
children. So, we are reading
it over 112 years later -- gives one a funny feeling, doesn’t it? )
I am learning the 19 Psalm. I have written to let the world know that I still am living.
Sunday, 17th March, 1889
I am here writing by the book case table. Harry went to the Salvation Army last night with Frank Hartt, our cousin, who is boarding down .....? Flora and Frank are now at the organ singing as hard as ever they can. Flora got into her head for all of us girls to sleep in different rooms. I had my chance of which room I would take. I took the room up in the old chamber. It has a large dark hole right back of the room and it is dark to boot. I expect I will be scared out of my boots there this summer but I wanted to have a room by myself where I could study. I got a letter from papa who said that he guessed that the French lessons would have to come to the little end of the horn. I felt so bad I shed some tears over it. I do not know what ever is going to become of me. I have no talent for anything but I guess I will stop for the present.
I have got a hold of my pen again it has not been quite a month since I wrote last. I’ve sent off our prize essay last Saturday. I do not expect to get anything.
Another plan is for me to go down river and go to school and board at Aunt Dr. Lizzy while Aunt Olive will come up here to teach but it is nothing but a plan. I wish it would happen though. I guess I will put my prize story down here. It will make the 5th time it is written out.
April 28, Sunday, 1889
I have just finished my story today. I had begun to think I would never get it done.
It seems as if so many things has happened since I wrote, April 5. In the first place papa is come home. His coming was very welcome I assure you. In the second place I have got to stay home till next term of school. I will have to fly into the mats by the whole sale. Flo and I have got one on now. I feel awful about having to stay home from school. We have a hired man now by name of Allen Steirs ??. He took my bedroom and I did not care either when it came to the pinch. I do not care about sleeping in that lone room. Flora read her journal to me that she kept to Grandmanan, It was very interesting. My ink is giving out so better stop.
April 30, Tuesday, 1889
Today is the second day I have stayed home from school but is not so dull as I thought it would be. Flo and I managed to get the work done by 9 o’clock. Then we spend the rest of our time at mats. But it is very interesting as Flo tells what books of stories to me. I told her a Jankelina but that is all the book I knew what she did not know she told me about Ben Hur, Lady Alice which was very interesting. I hear Flo at the mat, I better go.
It is getting dark and I am here by the stand writing in my journal. Oh I do not know what I would do without it. It seems like an old friend. But everything goes the same old “jog trot.” I’ve got one mat off today and am going to put another on soon. I feel, Oh feel I know not how but it kind of seems to I am sleepy as my eyelids droop. Flo and I was up at the peep of day this morning before any body else was up working at the mat. I do hope before I die to have a good education. I will stop, as I am needed downstairs.
May, Sunday, 1889
I have just been looking through my journal to see how many times I wrote on Sunday. Today makes 9 times if I have not made any mistakes. I sometimes wonder if it is right or not but that is one of the things I do not know.
Flora is now playing on the organ. I can hear her sing and play although I am in our arbour seat, which I used to write about last summer. It is a very pleasant day out. The wind is blowing very hard and the sun is shining brightly. The grass is beginning to put on a fresh robe of green and the pretty Mayflowers are found near the fences and especially in our grove on the hill. Further back of the grove is a higher place where a good view of the surrounding places is seen with advantage. It is very beautiful place to be in July when everything is green and the wind moving the leaves and boughs of the trees and a busy bee will pass humming as it goes and the beautiful birds singing in the trees awake such harmonizes in the soul that you would join in their melodious, sing with heart and soul. I have just looked over what I wrote and hardly keep from laughing . Papa & mother are to Mr. Seporaly’s to see the father who is sick. I have met with a terrible lost but as it is Sunday I will not write about it until some other time.
Thursday, May, 1889
I ended up in my last telling about my lost. It was this...I thought I had lost my turkeys but I found them again but something stole two turkey eggs. I have had a trap there ever since but have not got anything. I ought to be picking wool this very minute. It is very hot now. My eleven-year-old sister Phebe is keeping a journal now. So as all things stand I better go to work. So good good good bye my dear dear dear dear dear journal.
Friday, May 10, 1889
Again I take my pen to write. I know not what. I have just heard strange voice down stairs and I would like to know who it is.
We had a small thundershower last night. Flo was up to Aunties and came down before breakfast this morning. The best thing I can do is to stop.
Sunday, May 12, 1889
Helen Dunham wanted to write in my journal so I thought I would let her but I am sorry now. She is nineteen years old. The strange voice I heard down stairs was Mrs. Spurgeon Evert. I am now in the midst of the cherry bushes. Flo is sick a bed. She has the German measles. The leaves have leafed out, it makes everything look fine. I have put a leaf in here to look at in after days. It is pretty near time a card or something was coming for my Northern Messenger story. It is beginning to rain so I will stop.
Thursday evening, May 16, 1889
I thought I would take my pen again to write indeed I wonder if anybody does anything without thinking about it first. Flo and I are trying to do with seven hours sleep.
Thursday, May 23, 1889
I again begin to write. It seems long thought it has been but since I wrote last. The black flies are nearly eating me up. I went to my arbour seat first but the flies drove me a way and they are driving me away, I am going to do. Well I am in the parlour now where no flies come. Of which am very glad.
Mother had been coloring and Flo spinning and sewing rags for the carpet which we want to get done before the Association comes which is expected in 6 weeks. Flo is spinning 60 knots today. I do not get hardly a bit of time to practice on the organ. I expect the cows here any minute and then I will have to go milk. I wonder if I put anything here about our beautiful flower bed. They are just lovely. I have to go now and sew carpet rags.
Well everything is going the same “old trot” which is pleasant sometimes. Papa is gone to Grandmanan again expect him back next week. Mother is gone to the missionary meeting over to third and has left me good deal of work to do. And this is the way I am doing it. Flo is painting the sitting room. She has got it prepared. Mother has commenced to weave the carpet. I wish I could write well but if wishes were horses, beggars could ride. If I was improving it would not be so bad but I am always in a hurry person. I cannot learn to do things good in a hurry. I am a funny girl if anything comes in my head down it goes without thought as how it would appear to a stranger. I intend that no stranger shall get a hold of this though. I feel very much in the humor for writing now but I have got to stop and go down stairs and go racing with the clock to get my work done in season. So Good Bye here goes. I forgot to write that Flo got a letter from a Grandmanan friend stating that Mary has lost her voice entirely. I feel so bad about it. I do not know what to do. Some think that she will not live through the summer. I am going this time for sure!
Thursday morning, June 6, 1889
Breakfast is ready. I will have to go but I will finish some time today. I have got hold of my pen again. I wonder if I wrote that aunt Clara’s two eldest girls had come from Boston for a visit. They stayed out to uncle Charles most of the time.
Last Sunday, we started from Third Tier meeting before Auntie and Helen. On the cross road, Auntie’s horse ran away and ran into us. But between Aunt and Helen they managed to get the horse off the road and stopped. It was exceedingly a good scare and nothing was broke. Flo and I lately get 6 or 7 hours of sleep. Carrie and Nettie are the names of Aunt Clara’s girls. I have not seen them much yet.
My turkey is setting on 16 eggs. I hope I will have good luck as us children intend to send mother down to her old home this year with the money our poultry brings. Harry has got 24 ducks. Flo two goslings. I will stop.
morning, June, 1889
I have made up my mind to guard my thoughts for if I think as I have begun to think they will be very hurtful to me. I am going to put a mark here every day I do not break my pledge but if I do of which I do not intend to I will cross the mark.
fear not in a world like this and thou shall know ere long.
how sublime a thing it is to suffer and be strong. Longfellow
is the man, that walketh not in the counsels of the ungodly.
David in Bible
Sunday night, June 9, 1889
I have just got home from meeting, Mr. Phillips preached lovely. Papa is going to Summerville and I wanted to go with him but mamma would not let me go as he would not be back till tomorrow afternoon. There is a excursion up to the Grand Falls. The price is very cheap and Bessie Good has a brother up there teaching. So she wants go with her cousin, Clara Good and wants Glora to take charge of the school while she is gone (perhaps Flo will). Flo has taught school over to Montcello Nova Scotia when she was 15 and taught a Sunday school class when 14. I am pretty nearly 16 and am a nobody. Flora is large as large when she was 14 as she is now. I am a little girl have a time to keep people from running over me. Flo has a good lot of brains. My brains are very limited. She has got my share too. Oh dear me what will ever become of me not fit for a single thing. I feel like leaving this world and climbing a tree. I would soon have to come down though and go to work. Which is a lot I will always have to fill. Why can I not have some thrilling adventure like Flo has had for instance? But I have heard some such wishes in nonsense. Perhaps some day I will be looking over this and laughing over my nonsense. If anybody reads this, I do not want them to think I am jealous for I am not.
Monday night, June 10, 1889
It has been rainy weather lately or cloudy rather. Flo has not got home from school yet, neither has papa returned. The pressers are eating their supper now. I have been picking berries this afternoon. It was terribly hot and the men gobble them down and never think about the trouble it cost to pick them I am going to stop and read my journal of 1888 now.
Tuesday afternoon, June 11, 1889
I have come up here in a most exhaustive stage of mind and body. I am hot and tired though I have done nothing to tire myself. This world is a stage of excitement, or I am a girl of excitement. I do not know which. Papa has got a new horse, but is going to sell it though. I do not know what is the matter with me. It seems to me as if I was good for nothing. I do wish I wasn’t in a sleepy fit. I think it is very bad to get into such fits. The clock has struck three; it is pretty near time I was at the supper.
Wednesday morning, June 12, 1889
Well I have been looking over what I wrote last about my exhausted state of body, which was soothed by sleep. I did not sleep quite an hour but I had to lie awake through in the night to make up.
Thursday morning, June 13, 1889
Hurrah, hurrah mother is going to Grandmanan hurrah hurrah we have been trying to get her off. It was not decided till now. She went to town yesterday and got the things required. Pearl, our baby Pearl how will we ever get along without her. Flo and I will have to work every inch there is in us as the Association is coming right on.
Friday morning, June 14, 1889
The pressers gone away much to my joy. We had quiet a shower, wind and the thunder last night. It is beautiful outside to nice to stay in the house. I think I shall have to like a person did when uncle Richard called on him to make a speech in Sunday School. He got up and asked the public what to say. So I will have to ask my journal what to write. I am going to copy down a little sentence . Here it may do me good in after years.
Wednesday morning, June 26, 1889
My dear good journal, I have not neglected you. The meetings are here now. Flo and I worked all night long the next night till 12 and night after that till 3. Flo lost in weight but I gained in spite of hard labour. I’ve got a letter from our parents, they are doing nicely. Saturday, Helen Good drove out to tell us to meet a young lady Carrie Bridges at the train Tuesday. Harry went after her while Flo and I worked until we almost dropped. We had got the new carpet down Saturday night. We were about the same as ready when they came. She is my mother’s cousin’s daughter. Charlet Bridges. She is going to stay after the meeting are passed. She is very jolly and I think I shall like her very much. Professor Willie Watson, the son of a farmer that lives a little way above here is married, I expect by this time down in South Carolina. He married a very rich lady. They say it took $2000 for her outfit. That is what education will do for you. I would like very much to go to meeting this morning, but Flo and I have a carpet to put down after Carrie goes away. I will stop now and perhaps I will write some more for the day is out.
Thursday morning, June 27, 1889
It is cloudy today and everything looks dreary enough. And as for me I feel sleepy enough as I was up last night late to meeting.
Friday morning, June 28, 1889
I have come up stairs rather funny in some way shape I know not how. When Flo, Carrie, Phebe and I were coming home from meeting, Wednesday night, Harry and Frank Hartt to boot. Just as we came up to the front door, Harry says, "Carrie lets you and I lead the way." So, Carrie started Harry backed up and pretended the hop vines were in the road. Carrie opened the door and, at that moment, water came pouring down and a pail struck her on the head. Then came a pitiful wail, my hat and dress are ruined. Then she gave it to Harry right and left. She declared he would have to pay $5.00 for her hat and said lots of other things of which none blamed her. Harry and Frank sneaked behind the well house, pretty blue. But in the morning her clothes were not spoiled quite as much as was thought. Flo felt so bad she cried over it. Carrie said she had half a mind of going home but none would listen to such a thing. She had on a white dress and it did not hurt it much. She is just as jolly as ever now. Flo and Carrie has gone up country. Harry and Frank is going to offer her money. I do not think she will take it though.
Saturday morning, June 29, 1889
It is a beautiful day out. The sun shines so pretty it gives everything a golden aspect. They have not all the Northern Messenger story examined yet so it is not known who is going to get the prizes.
Today is a hot day. But all the same everything is very beautiful. Carrie went away last Sunday up Centreville. I have lost my turkey and the little Turkey’s. I expect when I find them there will not be one left. We got a letter from mother today, she had started for Blissville. She says she had a fine time to Grandmanan. I am sorry she could not stay there longer. I expect Flo will be in the fidgets as to what has become of me. So I will stop.
Monday afternoon, July 8, 1889
After six days absence, I take my pen again to write. Father is coming home tomorrow, of which we are all very glad. Minnie Smith, our cousin, was here visiting from Wednesday till Sunday. She was not as jolly as Carrie Bridges but I liked her better all the time. I do not know, as I ought to put it down here though. Last Wednesday, Harry had the pleasure of being run over with the ox cart and has not been able to do anything much since.
I found seven little turkeys without any mother. I suppose the foxes took her. Three little turkeys have died already, I expect they all will. I am very sorry but it cannot be helped. Harry had 36 ducks, Flora 3 goslings, Phebe 1 duck that Harry exchanged for chickens. I expect I will be left destitute.
Saturday evening, July 113, 1889
After five days silence I again take my pen to state a few facts. I had to go out raking today for the first it seemed quite like old times. Mr. Glen told Flora at supper time that Mr. Artist likely to have gotten killed when he fell out of the wagon on his head and that I pretty near ran over him two or three times. Once both his horse and his head struck and both jumped.
Mother is coming home next Monday. We have done nicely without her but we will be glad to see her. Flora is going to the Academy next fall and I am going to the Junction.
Will decided when mother returns. Oh I hope and pray that it will be decided favorably. Papa is going to Granmanan next week. The clock has just struck one so I will stop.
Sunday night, July 21, 1889
The day is pretty near at a close and I have to light the lamp to write in my journal. It has been eight days since I wrote last but it seems longer.
Mother came home the time appointed and as Aunt Olive did not go away teaching my plans for down river came to nought. Flora’s Academy affair has not been decided yet. Oh, when will the time arrive when I can earn a living for myself? Flora says she is going to bed so I guess I will to. Farewell.
Wednesday afternoon, July 22, 1889
Well there I have got to go raking. Wednesday night, I went raking but came to a sudden stop as it broke down and then I had to go to Waterville to get iron mended. After supper it broke again so there it sits. Today is my sixteenth birthday. A year ago today, there was a thunderstorm but there is none today for a wonder as there is generally one on the 24th of July. Last Birthday, Mary was here but now Mary’s friends have given her up to die but she does not know it as they dare not tell her and poor Mary still thinks she will live. I felt very aged last Birthday and I feel still more so now. I got through last years trials and troubles. I wonder how it will be with the next? Someway or other death does not seems so far off as it did last year. I will have journal written through next birthday (D.V.) I am going to put down here the names of all the books I read through till next birthday. Cleopatra, Tim the Scissor Grinder, The Sequel to Tim, The Inheritance of Heaven, Soldiers of the Cross, The Throne of David, Minnie Herman, Vanity Fair, Oliver Dale’s Decision, Three Months under Snow. Ragged Robin, Felix Holt, Nicholas Nickleby, A tale of two Cities, How to Spend a Week Happily, and lots more books.
I have been intending to write before this but some way I never got to it. We have a cousin out to Woodstock named Nellie Hartt, who is working in a store. She rents quite a sized house and the Libby girls are with her. They are going home soon.
Flora’s Academy affair went through so the next arrangements is for Flo to go and keep borders with Nellie and attend school. Meanwhile, as for I, I am going to school here till the ground freezes and help mother. After that perhaps I can go to Woodstock where I can prepare for college. It will be fine if we can carry out our plans.
Saturday afternoon, August 10, 1889
I take my pen felling I would just as leave be at the organ now as anywhere. I long for the organ; by spells I cannot get time to practice much lately. I have just finished mother a pair of stockings for a birthday present the 31st of this month. School has been in session for a week. I cannot go till Flo goes to Woodstock. I am going to see if I can steal a little time to play on the organ.
Saturday morning, August 11, 1889
I am now going to milk. Saturday evening, I just begun to write this morning when the cows came and so I had to leave. Well..there... Mother wants the light so I will have to stop.
Sunday afternoon, August 18, 1889
After fruitless efforts yesterday to write, I take the pen today hoping for success. The Libby girls have been visiting here lately. They together with Flo and mother are over to Third Tier to meeting right now. I was to a party to Mr. Estey the other evening. There were about thirty young men and women there. I had a fine time. There was another party down to Bessie Goods, our schoolteachers, but I could not go as there was no room in the two-seated carriage. Flo is going to Woodstock tomorrow. No more at present.
Saturday Morning, August 24, 1889
Well another week has gone by and I expect next week to go to school. The time is drawing near which I have been looking forward to so long. Flo is home and passed the examination all right but I think it doubtful whether I can or not.
Sunday afternoon, August 25, 1889
I have not been to meeting today as I did the work and let the rest go. Carrie Libby is here now. To my great disappointment I cannot go to school tomorrow, as I have to help harvest till father comes from Grandmanan. Oh dear!! What a world this is!!
Saturday afternoon, August 31, 1889
Today is mother’s birthday. Next birthday she will be 47. Her children surprised her with a few presents. Father has came home, we are very glad to see him. I do hope I can go to school next week.
Oh if I could take my pen and write my feelings and thoughts as I would like to. But it seems if I cannot express myself for I have no brains. I think I better stop.
Well father has gone to Grandmanan again. I am sure I will be glad when he gets through preaching down there. Well I am going to school, this is the third week. Mother is sending Pearl to find me, so I better go and get my supper.
Sunday middle of the day, September 22, 1889
They have all gone to meeting, I am here meditating on the vanity of human life.
All is vanity saith the preacher and I agree with him. For I want a new sack this winter. The one I have got will not do as it is too old and as it is not fashionable. Oh dear, I wish there was not so much fashion going. I got to go and see about the dinner.
The world moves on in the same old way. Only it brings more excitement for me.
I’m going almost frantic for reasons I will not state till a weekday. I feel, as there is no rest for the wicked. I have stayed home today and let the rest go. Oh dear, I wish I was in Guinea. I don’t know any Sunday subjects to write about but I have a weekday subject to write about other days. I see although as it is exactly right.
Fall has returned, with the cold winds and fading leaves. I have often wished I could express my thoughts as other people can. But it may be that I have too hard opinion of my self, but where it is so plain. I am deficient in all branches I cannot help but I feel bad about it. I have been thinking that my thoughts were even to sacred to put down here. But it seems so hard to concentrate but I will start some other time. Oh dear, I would like to take a gaze over what will be written in the future in this book. I expect it would be interesting, It would be joy or disappointment either of the two things, it cannot help be. I will stop hoping my future prospects will be joyous though hard labour.
Friday afternoon, October 11, 1889
I will just write a line or two as we have company and mother may call for me to make an appearance. I feel confused and weary, my wits are scattered. I have just got through scrubbing. There I dare not write another minute as I hear someone approaching.
Friday forenoon, October 18, 1889
The two last school days are not held this week on account of the Institute. I find that there is no play because I have to study thoroughly. I am frantic as I am afraid I cannot pass my examinations. Few people know that I intend to try to get in the Grammar School, they are just waiting to see me fail. I will write no more now.
The pen is again taken after an absence of some time. Time is still moving and it finds us with Christmas nearly here. I am still going to school. I am not getting along, as I would like to. Flo is doing fine out to Woodstock. I hope I shall be there ere long. Harry is going to school. I am glad he has started at last. Papa is at Grandmanan as usual, but on business this time. I am sorry my pen is so poor for I cannot write well. I think when I die that I will burn my journals up as I will not be here to guard them. But I am not dead yet. Mrs. Ernest Estey, our Baptist Sunday School teacher and also Deacon Alexander, uncle Richard’s father are dead and buried. Mrs. Cock Estey is not expected to live. Well I guess I will go and play on the musical instrument.
Christmas and New Years have both taken their departure and the holidays have also gone for tomorrow is the first day of school. Flo is going to Woodstock but I am not going to venture an examination till week after next. I intend to study all I can this week. I studied a good deal. Mr. & Mrs. Wiley came from across the line on the last day of the old year and went away Friday, which upset my study plans. Flo, Harry and I went to Sunday school and meeting this morning. Mr. Archibald preached. My father is away today at Bookville. I could write more but I guess I’ll not for the present.
Well I do declare the long looked for period has gone by and I am in the thriving town of Woodstock. In a house, which before I get to my stopping place I have to climb three flights of stairs. I don’t mind except when I bring up wood. That terrible examination is passed, though not without a few tears. But it ended in my final attendance of Grammar School. There is a vast amount of labour to be done on my part, although I do not study languages. I will have to work hard and catch up with the rest of the class in Algebra and Geometry. We have a weekly Arithmetic paper to work and an essay to write every fortnight. This week I have to draw a map of the Dominion. In front of the class, I have to say a recitation. It is hard on me as I am not used to the ways of the school. To get up and spin a lesson off without being asked questions, I do not believe I will ever be able to do. But yet I am very thankful to have the privilege of studying hard. I have a good chance to study as Flora and I take a room from Nellie and board our supper.
I think my sister Flora is a very nice girl for I certainly could not live without her for she helps me in my studies to such a degree that I would be impossible for me to remain in my right mind long without her. My pretty writing denotes that I am attending Grammar school and that I am improving decidedly in my writing but I would not dare to write an essay for Mrs. Steeves to view in this shape. I guess, I better stop as I am in an exceedingly big hurry. I made an average of eight this week the highest can be made is ten. But I am not satisfied with that.
I forgot to state that Mary Gardiner is dead, She died on Christmas day. On her birthday she was twenty-one years old. She gave up a few days before she died and charged her friends to prepare for her death. I am very sorry for poor Mary; I will never see that same face again around our home. Oh well, I do remember the weeks we used to take in the shady grove on the hill, swing in the lower barn, where
I used to delight in trying to make her dizzy. I did not fully realize when I bid her goodbye and saw her take her departure that it was the last time I should ever behold her. But we must die sooner or later and it does not pay to put the thought of another world off to the very last. Good many have done so but they have had cause to regret it.
Monday night, February 17, 1890
I am taking my pen with the feeling that I ought to be learning my recitation. But I cannot learn when talking is going on. Mrs. Williams is talking with Flo to the greatest extent. I was called in my Geometry for the first day. I got seven; I did not enjoy it much.
Mrs. Williams is gone to her room guess, I will learn my recitation now. So good evening for the present. Carrie Hartt, Woodstock
Wednesday, February 19, 1890
I am situated at the end of the table. Miss Dougherty is at the other end of the table. Flo is in the middle. They are looking at the weekly Arithmetic paper. Miss Dougherty is our school comrade. She is a second-class schoolteacher. She has taught school for five years. I have to study very hard but as long as I get the tenth grade at the end of the term, I do not care. I ought to study now, but there is no study for me when talking is going on.
Flo and I thought it would be advisability to write daily. Mrs. Steeves visited other schools in the same building. I expect Flo and I will get a fine deportment this month. Every time anybody is seen talking, his or her names goes down. I read a paper in which our names were down once. I think I better go studying.
Friday evening, February 21, 1890
Tonight the wind blows and howls, the snow blows and so forth. We waded through the snow to school but enjoyed it all the same. I got eight today and felt very cross for I wanted a ten. I shall not be satisfied till I do. Mrs. Steeves taught part of the day today. Our papers were handed in. In the Essays, Flo got 7 and I got 6. In Arithmetic, Flo got 86 and I got 46. I only work half as the Algebra I cannot do, but expect to soon. As the wind and snow prevents our folks from coming out, we will have to remain here over Sunday.
I am now sitting in this cold room waiting for the time to arrive for me to start for school. I forgot my arithmetic paper and I had to come home after it. " Oh Arithmetic and Algebra thou art my distress... " Why oh why do I have to be so far behind in those branches. I hope the day will come when I shall know them better. My writing has not improved much since I started going to school, I am sorry to confess. I shall die if at the end of this term, I do not get the tenth grade. But my scattered thoughts must not go down here anymore for the present.
Sunday afternoon, March 9, 1890
I am dwelling in this room two stories high on Kings Street all alone. Flo took a sudden departure yesterday. An intense desire seized her to get home and our folks had not made themselves presentable on Friday on account of a heavy storm. So Flo picked up her alls and walked home a distance of somewhere near nine miles. I expect to go and hear Joseph McLeod this evening.
Wednesday, March 26, 1890
We got home last Friday. I am getting along at school pretty well. Mr. Peter Fisher has visited our school and gave us some renowned lectures about spelling. He asked me if I was going to be a lawyer. I felt very much like crying, I disliked him before but now I despise him.
Mother’s health has given away and she is going down to Aunt Lizzy’s to get doctored. I know not what the consequences might be if she did not return soon. The rest of the week and past of the next is Easter Holidays. We are in our new house and it is ever so much better and we are nearer the schoolhouse.
I am waiting for papa to come and take me home and my pen is poor and I think Harry cannot read this.
Thursday, April 17, 1890
I am weary and worn, my thoughts are scattered and few. And it is too bad for I have to write an essay for tomorrow. How to write it I know not. The roads are so bad we can’t get out this week. Mother has come back from down river. I have to commence work.
I commence my journal now to try my new pen and to state a few facts. Mrs. MacDonald is dead, Mrs. Williams mother, she died yesterday at 2 o’clock. Flo and I were out home; the funeral is tomorrow at half past two. We will be to school. She has been sick for a fortnight. It seems very very funny to have a dead person in the house. I have got hard up for something to write for essays, so I am going to write down my Indian Story which I wrote to the Northern Messenger. I do not know what I would do if I had not put it in here in my journal.
Tuesday, May 6, 1890
I am in school this very moment and have received a scolding for not opening my mouth in reading. Mrs. Steeves said that I ought to learn to move my palate, which I cannot do for it is crooked and thick and has been ever since Flo was to Grandmanan. Well I better go on with my essay. It is coming noon as Mrs. Steeves has rung the bell. I have tried to be more particular in writing my journal, but when I write I write in a don’t care fit and am in a hurry generally.
The most exciting news I can think of now is that I am to be left alone in the world, for the present at least, as far as my sister is concerned, for she has left Grammar School and is preparing for a trip to British Columbia. Mother’s brother, Uncle Bedford invited her to come and teach school. She can get from $50 to $110 a month for teaching but all the same there is considerable risk to run as to whether she will pass the examination papers and it is a long way to travel alone. She was very sorry to leave before she graduated from Grammar School. But circumstances demanded it and I am to be left alone. Mrs. Williams goes to her work about 7 o’clock and returns about 6. I do not come home to dinner but go without. Flo and I found it quite hard at first but it does not bother us now. Oh, when Mrs. Williams is out I will have no one to talk to concerning the events of the day. When Mrs. Williams comes home she is interested in what I am not. I do think I shall never miss any body so much in my life. And I will have no one to puzzle my Geometry exercises for me. No one to comb my hair. I fully expect to scare some of the scholars by the way I will have my hair combed tomorrow and forever afterwards. Flo has just gone away with mother. Mrs. Williams is sick a bed with a sick headache. I have written enough for the present. It is too dark to see.
Monday, June 16, 1890
My dear sister Flora started on the train Thursday evening last. I am left in sorrow alone. Flo will not reach Namino B.C. till 8 days. Louisa Burplee is here, she is working in Mrs. Williams shop. It will not be so lonesome with her here. I have got to pass an examination tomorrow in British and when I don’t have much time to write. My writing is a sample of the way I do my worst in this book. Louisa has got the headache. I do not see why every body has it except me.
Tuesday, June 17, 1890
I have passed the examination in a poor shape. I do not know what I shall do with myself. I sometimes wonder if I haven’t made a mistake in chosing teaching for my work.
I almost think I would be better at music. I am laying on the lounge writing it is next thing to impossible to write at all.
Friday, June 27, 1890
I hope mother will never see what I wrote above. Our public examination was passed on last Tuesday. It was very rainy and I did not go as I did not want to wear a white dress. Miss Dougherty got the medal for the best essay on Canada. She was away from the exam because her mother died. She felt very bad about it. It is holiday now and I had not ought to be here as there is much work waiting for me.
It is a delight to get home again, although hard work is plenty to do. Harry and I went to the woods last night. I got some long wick for hop poles. I have scarcely looked at my location. I have not had time to sit down. I have a continual fight with the poultry to keep them off the flowerbeds etc. I must go.
July 23, 1890
My birthday has come again and I am quite surprised to find myself seventeen. I thought when I wrote last birthday that by the time of my next birthday, I would have this journal written through, but it is not. I am curious about what changes have taken place even in one small year. When I wrote on last birthday, I had no idea that Flora would be so far away and no telling when I will see her again. Well there....Harry bothers me so I can’t write any more. I will have to stop.
My holidays are spent on the rake, as usual. It seems very natural. We got a letter from Flo day before yesterday. She has had a delightful trip and she likes Uncle Bedford and Aunt Annie.
Sunday, August 31, 1890
It is quite a long time since I wrote last. I had to stop rather abruptly in my last epistle as mother called me in a great hurry. I was writing about Flora. She likes Aunt Annie very much. She passed her examination and could of got a school for $50 a month but she prefers waiting and getting a school in Nanimo as one of the teachers expects to get married soon. At that school she will get $70 a month and board at Uncle Bedfords.
She is now going to high school. I have been going to Grammar school just a fortnight and Mrs. Steeves is just a splendid teacher. He takes no excuse from not knowing lessons. Therefore, I expect to get tomorrow at two and go at them. I am studying Latin, French, Botany, Geometry, Nickle John’s English Language, Arithmetic, reading and recitation.
Poor Blanche did not get in Grammar School. Mrs. Steeves told her she would not be prepared to go in a year if she went back to this school so she goes to Miss Sharp’s school out there. I think I have written enough for the present.
Two months have passed since I wrote last and a variety of changes have happened during that time. I was doing nicely at the school, but yet when I came from school at night and shut myself up in my room and try vainly to study, my thoughts would fly home.
I could imagine dear mother in the rocking chair trying to sew after her days labour. I can imagine her care worn and tired expression and I knew I was needed at home. Mother has not been well during my remembrance and by degrees her disease has settled upon her. On Saturday, I came home and found mother very poorly and I knew Phebe was not a sufficient help and I made up my mind to stay home and sacrifice my education and take care of my mother. The next day, Aunt Rebeca came here. She had just come down river. She had seen my aunt Lizze, who is a doctor, and that Aunt Lizzie said there was scarcely any hope for mother for the moment. I felt a queer sensation through my head and I thought that perhaps Auntie had tried to scare me......
had to stop rather abruptly as just then Uncle Richard came for me to go
up to Aunties. I have been home now near two months and mother seems to be
considerably better. I firmly believe she is going to get well. I study
some at home and Harry and I make a business of getting up in the morning
at 3 o’clock to -------( I don’t know what that word is)
Father and Mother are to Brookville. Father is having some special meetings up there. I think mother is better. Although she has scarcely done anything but sat all winter. All the children are away to school and I have been alone all day. Flora succeeded in getting the school and has made $200. Rev. Mr. Thomas is holding special meetings down here. Harry and I were down last night. It is very lone some here. I hardly know how to contain myself.
I am now up while all the rest are to bed. Mother is much better and I am growing hopes that I can again attend Grammar School next term with a clear conscience. Oh I do wonder what future will have in store for me. I am very anxious to do well at school. I expect some day to go to British Columbia as a teacher. And I wish to be a good one.
The meetings down here have succeeded in getting one convert, a young man named Harvey Burtt. Carrie Bridges was here today; she came up river on a flying visit. She is the same old jolly Carrie. As it is spring there are plenty of mats to be made. We have got pretty near them all done. I do not know whether I can keep up my seven-hour system and get through house cleaning or not. As I sit here tonight I find myself continually wondering what my future existence will be. "Oh though that knowest all I pray thee Guide me aright. May I not flee from thee, but may I have my eye fixed on the bright and morning star."
I was to meeting today. Mr. Thomas gave a fine sermon on Redemption. He has a calendar which he gives to his congregation stating the subjects he will discourse on the following Sundays for three months. I should think it could be kind of hard if he was impressed to discourse on another subject.
Mother has been very poorly of late. I was very much in hopes that her health would continue to improve. We had sort of a surprise party here the other day. They did quite a bit of sewing work. Aunt Rebeca was here yesterday. I have traded off my turkeys for Harry’s ducks. I have nine duck eggs. Mother being sick throws most all the care of the work on my shoulders. It seems as if sometimes I have hardly time to breath. It is Carrie this, Carrie that. Carrie everything. Sometimes I think I would like to lie down and die. I would not mind it so much if I were sure I could go to school this summer. Perhaps I can manage to get a girl somewhere. I do not think I ought to complain for no one was ever blessed with better parents than I have got. I am very sure that no one has a more brave and determined mother than I have got. Papa is a minister so,of course, he is a fine man. I do not suppose every body says that of people. Generally have their likes and dislikes among the ministry, but all the same there is no better man in the world. Harry is just the worst or best boy imaginable. I am writing this for his benefit.
Today is a lovely day, the grass has started up and the leaves have begun to appear. Everything looks so delightful that I feel like going out doors and staying there. I have had the pleasure of cleaning out 22 rooms including closets. Next week I intend to give my spare time to flower beds.
Phebe goes to school and mother is not able to do anything so that leaves me plenty to do as there is seven in our family. Leaving out Flora, poor dear Flora, Oh I expect that many is the homesick tears that she has shed. We have moved back into our our old bedrooms. We means, Phebe Pear and I but poor me has to sleep alone. It seems funny not to have Flora to sleep with. I have carpeted my room and made it so that I quiet enjoy being in it.
My thirteen-year-old sister, Phebe is just as tall as I am. I could have said the same about Harry a little over a year ago, but alas, for he is now a foot taller, even if I am a year older. I suppose I am to consider myself the eldest of this family while Flora is away. I have just written a letter to her. Father and mother are away to the boundary line church.
I do not expect them back till tomorrow. It seems to me rather funny that no matter how still people are that their brain is not still or rather their thoughts. For instance our hired man, Mr. Dougherty (who use to be here) would never speak unless spoken to. Outwardly he appeared to be dead (but he did move) But his thoughts I suppose were running continually. I do not know how it is with other people but I get tired of my thoughts. It just seems as if I must have something new to think about. I am all the time making plans and am all the time breaking them. I wish I was determined enough to carry out everything I under took. Mother says I am very determined character but I would like to see where she sees it. There is a good many people in this work who are all the time trying to suit other people but I am no that kind. If I could suit myself, I would not care about what other people thought. That is something that I really cannot do as my conscience is all the time accusing me of something or telling me someway in which I could improve myself. I am going to stop this rambling business for the presence.
Time rolls on and with it small duties of every day life. Rev. Bounde, his wife and child were here and stayed all night. Lately, we have been trying to find a girl. We have heard of two or three and we expect friends to send word through mail whether we can get them or not. No one knows what a relief it will be to me when we get one. Vilah Kitchen, my old school chum is going to try to get in Grammar School this month. I do hope she will get in My aunt, Doctor Secord has a son who is going to graduate from the Acadia College this month and is talking of taking the Woodstock Broadway School. I shall be very much pleased with the idea, especially if he teaches while I attend Grammar School.
When I go out to school this summer, I expect to board at Charlie Vanwanto’s. I think I shall enjoy it very much there. I think I shall give Phebe music lessons when we get a girl. If I was sure no one would see, I would put my weight down here. Last time I weighed,------I don’t think any one will be able to read Greek. I have intended to review my---
Monday, June 8, 1891
I had to leave off as auntie was here and I was called for. I intended to say something about reviewing my lessons, but I do not know what it was now.
Uncle Bedford has got a $600 piano, so Flora has a fine chance to play. Somehow, I am not satisfied by the way I am getting along. I ought to be studying more but I do not see how to mend my course. But I MUST that is just the truth of it.
I take up my pen again after nearly a month’s silence. Papa went yesterday after a girl who was engaged to come at that time. Papa came back today without her, I felt just like death. The girl was not at the place appointed and papa did not know where to look for her. There the matter stands; girls are so scarce that I fear that we cannot get one at all. No one knows my feelings with regard to it. Unless we get one it is useless for me to think of going to Grammar School. I have put my heart on it so long and now not to have my dreams come true, I think I will go pout!! Oh poor me, I wonder what lies in the future for me,??? It is certainly disappointment or pleasure. I hope the next time I write I will have something joyful to write about.
Friday, July 17, 1891
Seventeen days has passed since I wrote last, but it seems ever so much longer than that. It seemed that every day from the first of July that something would happen that would put me in fidgets altogether.
In first place Vilah passed her examination and not only got into Grammar School but passed the tenth grade also. That would put her a grade higher than I. Of course,
I am very glad for Vilah’s good luck. Blanche Esty also got in. But she does not seem to want to tell what grade she obtained.
I was half wild about getting a girl. One day a woman with a child came to the door and wished to get a situation. We agreed to take her on trial for a week. She was far from having a good appearance and I did not see how I could stand having her around for the short time, I was to stay home. I felt so desperate, I couldn’t stand it another day. She went to work. Company came in the morning about 7. It was raining very hard and we had got up so late that we did not have breakfast. I had been washing all day before and was so tired when night came. I gave up scrubbing the kitchen till morning. Everything was topsy turvey in the morning. I got the girl to help me churn but she was a complete bother instead of help. After 3 hours of hard churning, dinner hour came on and everything was in complete mess. I soon found that my girl would do nothing but what particularly she chose to do. After dinner mother went up to Aunties with the company. I was working for dear life out in the kitchen when I took a notion.......
Friday, July 24, 1891
It got so dark that I gave up writing rather abruptly manner in my last epistle. Hardly know whether it is worth my while to finish the train of thought. Anyway it is sufficient to say that my girl left me. I hardly knew whether to feel glad or sorrow. Mother thinks they can get along well with Phebe. And Oh, I am afraid she can’t do the work without my help. I am afraid my happiness is kind of taken away this summer by distraction
Today is my birthday and I find that I am really 18. I am really sorrowing that I am getting old. There was not any thundershower today but has been raining hard most all the afternoon. I read in the paper one of Mary Gardiner’s brothers died from consumption. George Gardiner and his wife have only got one child left.
I hope I will know more by the time I am a year older. Poor Flora has been away now a little over a year now. It is very dark and I will have to stop.
Thursday, July 30, 1891
Mr. & Mrs. Maragson is here visiting today. We got a letter from Flora yesterday. She sent her picture and if she looked like her picture, she has improved very much in her looks. I have been studying Latin and Geometry lately. I would like to get it nicely reviewed up before school. I do not believe I ever wrote that Josie Dougherty went out to British Columbia and is with Flora now. Hubert Secord also went. So Flo has some New Brunswick folks with her.
I have had to rake quiet a bit, as my little brother Bedford is not capable of doing it all. I wish I had the strength to govern my thoughts better than I do. It seems impossible for me to get thinking about something that would be of real value to me. If I could only go to work and solve a geometry problem or take some important subject and solve all the ins and outs of it, then I would feel I was somebody. The person that can conquer their thoughts are those that have good control over themselves, is my opinion.
It is time that I went at my Latan. So fare ye well for the present.
Mother was up to Brookville last Saturday night and got the promise of a hired girl and she is to be here in a fortnight. No one can imagine my pleasure. I am getting some dressed made for going to school. We got a hired man now. Papa is going up in the upper district as a missionary next month and so therefore, the house is to be run without papa and me. Oh my horrid pen blots dreadfully.
I believe that I have actually taken my pen to write some more after the lapse of five months. Well, the girl did not come. She said she could not come when papa went for her. But I did not know much about it for I was out here to school. No one can imagine my disappointment when Harry came out after me Friday and told me about it. I could have cried in the wagon, but I kept my sorrow to my self. When I got home I found mother and Phebe fully resolved to do the work alone and to let me go. I went to school but I felt rather dubious about the state of affairs. After 5 months I am still at school. Mother and Phebe have stood the fall work fine. The hogs are killed and during the institute days I did a good share of the house cleaning. The stove is moved in the dining room and as far as I know at present every thing is moving on just as well as if I were at home. May things continue so, but it is 6 o’clock and as I get up early to get a start at my lesson, it would hardly be worth my while to loose it all. I will close fully resolved to write again at no distant date in the future.
Saturday, December 12, 1891
It is now nearly the end of the term and next week will decide what I have been doing. We have had six examinations and are to have five more. I dare write no longer for fear of discovery.
December 15, 1891
We had our examination in French and Physiology today. I am very anxious as to how I have made out. So far I think I would make out all right. If Mr. Creed had not surprised us one day with a hard paper in Mental Arithmetic and as near as I know I made O on it. Oh dear such is life!! We have got to have two more papers on arithmetic and Geography.
Well here it is pretty near time for me to go to school again. Just think I have been home a fortnight.Time passes very quickly. I left school with an average of about 60. I had passed examinations on 11 different papers. In French I was one of two out of a large class that passed the graduating mark. In Physiology, I made 73. In mental Arithmetic 20, & Geography 82 but I do not know all the makes I received. If mental Arithmetic and Algebra had been taken out of the list, I would of made an average between 70 - 75% I intend to make a desperate effort and get up on these branches, if possible. Tomorrow I intend getting up at 4 a.m. And prepare for a trip to town and begin study for a new term.
I hope I will succeed in it. My aim in life is three things: 1st. Ist to live for Heaven, 2nd to be useful as possible. 3rd. but not least is to get a through education. And I hope and pray that I may carry out my purposes. This is enough for the present.
During all the time I have stayed out here to school, I see that I have hardly thought it worth while to tell where I was boarding. Well at first I boarded at Mr. Colpitts and then Vilah Kitchen wanted me to board with her at her uncle Ben’s. I could get my board cheaper there so I went. But there was Clara who also attends Grammar School and her twin sister Laura and Vilah and myself. When we all got together we used to tear on so, that I thought it would be advisable to leave. So the first Monday of this term, Papa and I started before daylight in a rainstorm for town to engage my board at Mr. Connors, a free Baptist minister. So here I am at the present time. I did not get out home this week as a snowstorm came and hindered our folks from getting out.
Oh yes, I must not forget to state that Vilah did not get into the tenth grade as we at first supposed. She is very smart. Last term she made the highest average in school which was 76%. There are five boarders here including myself. The last three having come just lately. I think I shall like the woman folks really well. My sister, Flora pays for my board and oh I would like to see her. But I cannot. Perhaps someday I will go out where she is, that is if I ever get an education and no one knows how anxious I am to get one. Sometimes I feel discouraged with myself and think I had better go home and go to work. But yet no power could persuade me to. I got to go down town so I had better stop for the present.
Thursday, February 25, 1892
It seems as if time is flying on and I am still to make something of myself. In spite of a cold that makes me feel as if I would rather die than live at certain periods. I do no know whether that is the reason but I know I am dreadful blue just now. I do not care to be. I am in hopes that I can make out all right this term in my studies. I don’t know what the reason is. But it bothers me beyond any consideration to have myself ......... I am not going to finish that sentence. I will let my readers guess the rest of it. Oh dear me, I wish I was not in bad way. I see plainly that I am not fit to write anymore.
Today is Sunday and as there was a storm I did not get home and as I did not bring my good clothes so I find myself doomed to stay in all day. It is rather lonesome. I wonder how they are making out at home now? Mother had another bad spell and I find myself thinking about her continually. The other Sunday, Phebe and I drove ourselves over to Third Tier to meeting and after we got nicely seated I head Aunt Rebeca talking to Mrs. Kimball about mother. Telling her how mother was very poorly and how I went to school etc. Mrs. Kimball said it was just awful for mother to allow it. Of course, I did not feel any better after I heard that conversation. I wonder if there are many girls that has such a time to get an education??
Today is a lovely day and the sun is shining, making everything look so nice. I am up stairs in my studio as I call it, with the stand drawn up to the window so I can take in the good of the scenery. The most pleasant thing I see in the scenery line is the St. John River. The ice went out last Friday night.
Annie Roes was going downtown and she came out to the door and called me just while I was writing the above epistle. Consequently, I did not write all I intended to but what I intended to write has escaped my memory, as it is probable it will never be written. Today it was quite cloudy when I got up but now the sun is shining brightly. It is lovely to have the pleasure of studying so near the river. In place of Woodstock Bridge, which took its departure with the ice, there is a little steamer or a boat, which comes and goes across the river.
It is coming near to the end of this term and my thoughts are naturally wondering about my final examinations. Our teacher, Miss Neales has been having a good deal of trouble lately. First her brother-in-law where she boarded took sick and died with the pneumonia and now his wife and her sister also breathed their last from the effects of the same disease.
Wednesday, May 11, 1892
As usual, I was interrupted while writing as papa called for me. There has been no school for a week and a half. But school commences today and I am glad, unusually glad. Poor Miss Neales, I expect she would rather be excused from teaching school just now.
The steamer has just started for St. John as they came up here to turn around. They played and sang. It sounded beautiful.
While home I had the pleasure of cleaning all the house with the exception of the dining room and kitchen and a couple of pantries. Oh yes, Phebe did a little or quite a bit in helping me clean the sitting room and bedrooms. Papa did not care to let us move the stove until the weather grew warmer. So the cleaning of the kitchen and dining room will fall to my lot at some future date. Mother was getting strong and hearty and all at once she took a bad spell and has been poorly ever since. I sometimes wonder how it is that mother’s health should be broken down just at the time she is needed so much., But then it is not to wonder at. As when us children were small she had the pleasure of doing two women’s work.
We get word from Flora right along and she is doing well. Some how it seems to me that Flora will come home in two years. That would make her stay in British Columbia 4 years. And I will be twenty-one years old. And Flora will be twenty-two.
Well I believe my birthday has again arrived. And now I am nineteen. It seems dreadful that I am getting so old. I have been home from school four weeks. I have plenty of work to do; but I have had a pleasant change. I passed my examinations alright, besides carrying off a gold medal presented by L.P. Fisher (the man who asked me if I was going to be a lawyer) I received it for regular attendance, punctuality and good deportment. (Editor: Carole Dick has possession of the medal)
Today we have had what could we call a thunderstorm. I went over to Waterville with papa and Pearl this morning and we got our dinners at Edwards Grasses. Somehow I feel tired tonight and I cannot write anymore.
I have been looking over what I wrote last and have learned with astonishment that I have not written since my last birthday. During that time, I have not changed in the slightest degree and have been getting along about the same as ever. Going to school and stopping when I had to. Of course, that was holidays. The last fortnight, I have enjoyed myself very much at home, and I will confess that I did not hurt myself working. I am inclined to think that going to school and doing nothing but studying helps to make people lazy. Today is the first day of school and I find myself out to town at my old boarding place, in my old room, perched up at my old stand and things appearing just as natural as life. I did not leave home without some regret. For mother is not strong yet, although she is a good deal better than she has been. But she gets tired very easily. Facing all sorts of difficulties she is determined to do the work and sent every one of us to school. I am just on pins and needles as how everything is going to turn out.
I am very sorry to state that Mrs. Steeves intends to leave next June. It seems as if she is going to be the inspector for King’s county. Somehow, I feel as if I could never go to any other teacher and learn half as much or like half as well as I do Mrs. Steeves. Last term, I did pretty well in everything except Mathematics and I do not know whether to throw up my hands and declare beaten in that branch or not. I guess though, I will make up my mind to make a very desperate effort this term and conquer or die.
Flora is working out West trying her best to lift the heavy debt off papa’s and mother’s shoulders. She seldom allows a month to go by without sending home forty dollars, a certain amount of which goes towards putting me through Grammar School. I just feel as if I could not wait for the time to come when I shall go out there too and do my share of setting the old farm on its feet plus put Phebe through Grammar School.
Monday, January 30, 1893
This morning, I got up at quarter past four, hustled around and got breakfast and managed to get out here at eight o’clock. I went to school as usual. I do not have to study nearly as hard this term as I did the last. I intend to use my extra time at Mathematics, but it does so put my courage to a test, when I try so hard to do a question and cannot understand it at all. Mother stands the work pretty well, although, she gets tired very easily. Phebe does a good deal of work mornings and nights. Harry is also going to school and takes a good deal of interest in his studies for which I am very glad.
It is going on four weeks since I cam home. I have finished up the work, which I left at Easter holidays. Now Papa and Mamma are away up to district meeting and have left their family to take charge. During their absence we have had two Bridges girls here form Shetfield. They are sisters to Carrie, whose visits I have told you about in this journal. We expect they will be back again this week. It has been so long since I have written in this book. I though I ought to write tonight but I find I do not feel in the humour of it. I would like to be so good but I fall so short of the mark that I am very discouraged. It seems as if the harder I try the more sure will be the defeat. I wonder if I ever will attain the mark I am aiming for.
Mrs. Williams, who I have written about, is dead. I was very surprised to hear it. I had known not that she was sick. Poor Miss Neal is also dead. It seems very strange that two of the most regular boarders of Mr. Connor should drop off so soon after leaving there. Mr. & Mrs. Connor was her last Tuesday with Edna. Mother and Father were away over to Third Tier.
Flora is spending her holiday down in Sanuich. ?? She seems to have a very pleasant time there. Last night when I went to bed I got thinking about Flora being so far away from us, among strangers and it made me feel as if I could not stand it, but I suppose I must.
Phebe went out to Woodstock to try the third class examination papers for entrance to Normal School. She has not found out yet how she made out. She is pretty anxious as to the results. I do hope she has got in. I do not feel like writing anymore tonight. I do not know what is the matter with me. Last night I did not sleep the best in the world and today I do not feel at all normal. Phebe was sick yesterday but is better now. I wish I could see Flora.
Well along time has gone by and I have been very silent even on 24 th of July, I failed to write my epistle. I remember that the day was a very busy one and that I never though about my journal till I had gotten into bed. Then it was too late as I had my journal in the spare room and strangers were sleeping there. After Mrs. Steeves left I did no feel a bit like going to Grammar School. When all at once mamma took it into her head to send me to St. Martins to the New Brunswick Seminary. The day after I came home. Dr. DeBlois called and offered to take Harry and I for two hundred and twenty dollars for the year. He made a big reduction. After we had written to Flora about it, she seemed perfectly willing to shoulder all the money affairs in regard to it. So here we are at St. Martins, just think of it.? I think Flora is VERY VERY kind good sister. I don’t believe there is another sister in the province that has done the like. And now that I am here I fully intend to study just as hard as I possible can. So that I will be a help to the family as Flora has done. She has certainly set me a good example. My intentions are to study this year to obtain a diploma from this institution. Then in June to start for British Columbia and July endeavor to stand the teacher’s examination and then go teaching school. It seems to me like a desperate thing to do and yet it is not nearly as desperate as what Flora did. I know one thing, I can do it if God prospers me and I cannot unless He does. I can never go out to British Columbia with OUT a GOD. I think I had better go studying now. I will save the rest of this space to describe the ways of the seminary.
(Editor: The end of the journal. She wrote another one but she lost it and regretted doing so as she thought it was better than this one.)
FOOT NOTES: Carrie taught a number of schools in New Brunswick before going to Regina, Saskatchewan to take a Normal School course. She taught school in the North West Territories (before Alberta became a province in 1905) I have teaching certificates with North West Territories to proof it. She came to Stettler, Alberta and taught school and while there she met and married Richard Syson in 1907 His first wife died and he had a 2 yr old son. Carrie raised little Thur as her own. She had two children. Florence born in 1913 and Gerald born and died in 1915. Her beloved sister, Flora went to India as a Missionary in 1900 and met William Hazen in India and got married. They had no children. They worked there until 1942, coming home every 7 years on furlough. Carrie and Flora wrote each other letters nearly every week during those years. Carrie got cancer and died in 1945. Flora came west to be with Carrie in her last days. Henry, the brother died when he was 23 yrs of age. Pearl came west and married but died during childbirth after being married for a year and a half. (1915) She and baby are buried in the Stettler cemetery beside Carrie and Richard Syson. Brother Bedford died in 1969 in New Brunswick
We don’t know for sure what the sickly mother had for a disease in those days. But she lived until she was 77 yrs old.